The Twilight Saga: What's So Special?

I will admit, first and foremost, that I am a teenage girl (eighteen years old, to be exact) and have therefore gone through that period in my life where I decided to pick up Stephenie Meyer's Twilight and read it cover to cover. I also read all of New Moon, Eclipse, and even the disastrous finale to the saga, Breaking Dawn. That being said, I feel the need to speak up about the Twilight-related hubbub that's obviously been generated these past couple of years.

Believe it or not, yes, I am a teenage girl who detests this series more than I think I originally thought I would. As a matter of fact I thoroughly enjoyed the first book until I reread it and realized exactly what I had gotten myself into. "So why did you keep reading the series?" you may ask. To be honest, I had hopes that it would get better. What a stupid idea that was.

If you're reading this now, chances are that you know the basic plotline: Bella Swan, an average teen, moves to the town of Forks where she meets and then falls in love with Edward Cullen, who happens to be a vampire. Fair enough. We can all use that bit of romance in everyday literature. There are, however, several things that bother me greatly about the series.

If you're an avid fantasy reader like me, then you might recall several other heroine greats: Susan Pevensie of The Chronicles of Narnia, Hermione Granger of the Harry Potter series, etc. What these females all have in common is the courage and independency that they have apart from their male friends. In short, Susan can shoot her own bow and arrow, and Hermione can cast her own spells.

Bella Swan, on the other hand, does absolutely nothing to defend herself. I'm not saying that she should pick up a katana and start swinging it aimlessly at other vampires, but a little effort on her part would make her seem less like a completely helpless, brainless female. Instead she relies heavily on Edward to save her from every little incident - from her passing out at the sight of blood to being cornered by a bloodthirsty rogue vampire. It gets quite tiresome, to be honest.

She in fact depends on Edward so much that she lets him get away with the most ridiculous things: taking apart her car so she can't visit her friends, watching her sleep, and sneaking into her house (just to name a few). In this sense some readers would call Edward almost abusive and overly-controlling in his relationship with Bella. But it's okay with her because he's handsome and he sparkles in the sunlight.

What kind of message does this send to younger readers? "Act like a sissy, get yourself into heaps of trouble, attempt suicide (as Bella does in New Moon) and wait for your soul mate to come and rescue you"? Wonderful.

Bella also becomes the stereotypical female in the household. She lives with her father Charlie in Forks and so she literally does everything for him: she cooks all the meals, she cleans up afterwards, she does the laundry, she makes sure the fridge is full, etc. What does Charlie do in the house? As far as we know, and as far as Meyer goes to show us, he sits on the couch and watches football games all the time. Granted, yes, the typical American man does this, but I'm skeptical to believe it would be the same scenario if the man was a single father with his only daughter living in the household. Surely he would then help her out with the day-to-day chores? I guess not.

There are a few complaints I'd like to make concerning Meyer's actual writing. One of them is the general misuse of adverbs. It's as if Meyer feels that more words equals better writing and so she throws adverbs around like confetti at a wedding party. There are phrases like "chuckled darkly," "threatened darkly," and "suggested doubtfully" that, if read in context, could still make sense without the adverbs. (As a side note, Charlie McDonnell of YouTube fame brings up a fair point: How do you chuckle darkly?)

There is also the general wordiness and over-exaggerration of some sections in the book. One example is in Twilight when Bella goes on her computer to research vampires:

"I hated using the Internet here. My modem was sadly outdated, my free service substandard; just dialing up took so long that I decided to go get myself a bowl of cereal while I waited...Naturally, the screen was covered in pop-up ads...Eventually I made it to my favorite search engine...It took an infuriatingly long time, of course...I waited impatiently for it to load" (Twilight 132-33).

We get it, Bella. Your Internet sucks.

The book in its entirety is written like a poorly thought-out fan fiction where the only things going on are events written out in low-quality sentences. In fact, some parts sound as though Meyer herself got bored of her own writing:

"We lapsed back into silence as we finished eating. He cleared the table while I started on the dishes. He went back to the TV, and after I finished washing the dishes by hand - no dishwasher - I went upstairs unwillingly to work on my math homework. I could feel a tradition in the making...The rest of the week was uneventful" (Twilight 37).

As you can see, the majority of the novel goes on in this fashion: First I did this, then I did this, and then I did this, and finally I did this. A third-grader can write the same way - it's really not that impressive. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is how the series goes: Bella does "stuff" and Edward is pretty.

The characterization of Bella is also far beyond off. It's so off that I can't even find a good metaphor for how off it is. Bella is, presumably, an average seventeen year-old teenage girl with hormones and the like. Tell me then: have you ever come across a teenager who talks like this:

"It rains on this inconsequential town more than any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old...It was to Forks that I now exiled myself - an action that I took with great horror. I detested Forks" (Twilight 4).

I'm sorry, but no teenager I know has any idea what any of those words in bold mean, much less are able to use them correctly in a sentence. Bella Swan is not an average teenager. What average girl reads Wuthering Heights for the fun of it?

Finally, the lack of description is terrifying. On the fourth page of the first book - not even into the actual storyline yet (or lack thereof) - there is this statement:

"My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines" (Twilight 4).

We don't know what Bella looks like. There has been absolutely no physical description of Bella at all. Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for that completely pointless description.

By the looks of this subtitle, let me first say that I in no way believe that every single book ever written in the history of mankind needs one enormous umbrella moral or value that makes it a great book. Not every book needs to teach a lesson. After all, some stories are just written for pure entertainment. This could, of course, be Twilight's case. By the same token, there are a few things that younger readers could take away from the series, and they're not all good. Here are a few, albeit blunt, lessons that Meyer seems to promote:

1. It's perfectly okay for your boyfriend to control every aspect of your life. If he takes apart your car to keep you from going somewhere, it means he loves you. A lot.
2. Your boyfriend has to be perfect. No flaws. He must also be filthy rich and come from a well-preserved family (the Cullens are wealthy because one of them, Alice, can see the future and can therefore predict trends in the stock market. How convenient).
3. Being your own hero, especially if you're a girl, is overrated. Sit down and wait for your knight in shining armor to come. Don't take matters into your own hands.
4. Stay in the kitchen. Literally.
5. If he doesn't talk about how much he wants to kill you and drink your blood every five minutes, he's just not that into you.
6. It is very, very, very important that you have a boyfriend, otherwise your life is not worth living and you might as well throw yourself off a cliff (as seen in New Moon).
7. Your friends are unimportant. Who cares about their silly, petty problems when you have your own? (As seen every time Meyer writes about someone who is not a vampire).

In the end, this series has plenty of wrong twists and turns, bad writing, and lack of characterization and plot. It's a good read for the younger generation who are looking for something to merely pass the time with (probably between the ages of 13 and 17) but for those who are looking for more substance, this wouldn't be your best pick. Start out with something that falls into the category of "real literature" and work your own way from there.